cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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