I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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