My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
