she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
