I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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