i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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