Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
