I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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