I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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