THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize