I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
