Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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