hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
