sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
