If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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