On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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