I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Pooping to opera.
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