pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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