somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
