dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
