I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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