this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
