meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
