You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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