normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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