Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
