so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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