remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
