i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
this boner is exhausting
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
