At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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