he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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