She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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