there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
