It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
