he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
