You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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