Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
