i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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