Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this boner is exhausting
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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