We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
