For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
