Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
