she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
