I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize