dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
