Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
