Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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