im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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