I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I supernannyed him into submission
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
