Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
