U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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