Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
