I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
