Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
