Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
