So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
