I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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