just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
