i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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