The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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