i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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