It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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