I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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