im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
