actually, I'm a sock model
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
