I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We left the knife in your bed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
