He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
