dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
