just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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