Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
