she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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